Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
