This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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