His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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