I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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