no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize