I wanna bring you to show and tell
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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