i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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