What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
