Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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