I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
