It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize