if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
