can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
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and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
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Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
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