The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
