he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
