You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
