I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
