used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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