it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
