idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
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If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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