Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
