Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize