hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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