Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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