Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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