the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize