High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
