I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
