i jhust puked up my retainher.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
