im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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