I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Welp...herpes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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