If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
so much tequila, so little girl.
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