My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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