it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
