I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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