I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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