Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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