He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
