Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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