you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
