Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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