Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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