Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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