I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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