Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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