the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
