you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
