when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
