Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
