Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
