Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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