New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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