And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
