We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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