is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
