i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
All the doctor said was why
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
