I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
