if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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