is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
