I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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