What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
