Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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