; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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