you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
The ass gains better be worth it
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