Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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