Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize