awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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