Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
