she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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