I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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