I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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