And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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