I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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