This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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